Friday, October 27, 2006

Who let the dogs out?

URGENT: Based on recent reports (English/ Arabic), we are compelled to issue the following health and safety warning to all Egyptian females:

A vicious mutation of a virus commonly known as "Rabid Heat" has been recently detected in downtown Cairo and is giving experts reason to believe that it may have spread into a full blown epidemic. Found in all males, the virus remains harmless in its dormant state. Under certain conditions of mutual consent, the virus has even proven useful, however, if left to ravage the body, the virus causes excess releases of testosterone which disrupts the flow of oxygen to the brain, closing off nerve synapses and shutting down all brain activity which inevitably leads men to behave like rabid dogs in heat.

Scientists cite strong moral fiber and respect for women as the only deterrent to the virus's horrid symptoms. As Egypt's stock of these remedies are in short supply, Downtown is hereby declared an infested zone and women are urgently requested to carry mace and exercise extreme caution for the remaining days of the eid holiday.

The writer of this warning is, saddened, sickened and enraged but most of all sorry for the inconvenience caused; we're hopeful that newer modified versions of the Egyptian male will hit markets soon.

5 comments:

Sand-E Sez said...

I'm guessing the surges in testosterone are due to their suppression during Ramadan… maybe…. perhaps? Like the rubber in a sling shot it’s held back held back held back then over shot when released.

Dee-Vine said...

this realy sickens me.

Sand-E Sez said...

Talk about selective retention. I totally glazed over the URGENT portion of the entry and thought you were on some humanitarian ramble of empathy for all women. Please ignore my previous comment it was totally out of context.

Amnesiac said...

A sickening subject of course, but good post nonetheless ya Jester.

Jester said...

Thanks Amne, there's detailed information on other blogs, Forsooth did a good job at translating Malik's initial revealer and Manalaa did a fantastic summary of the coverage.